Going Against the Tide

I am the type who does not want to rock the boat. As a people-pleaser, I am scared to upset people with any act of defiance or disobedience. I like following rules and regulations because it is a more convenient route. I do not question authority or the status quo for fear of rejection and punishment. But playing safe and staying on the shore are blocking my growth and flourishing.

Still afraid, I hop on the boat, sail, and brave the tides. One of the unsettling journeys which I am braving now is in my ministry of doing Theology, particularly feminist theology.

In the 11th century, Anselm of Canterbury defined theology as faith seeking understanding. These are efforts at making sense of the faith, asking questions, and searching for meaning. Here in GMF, one of the invitations we need to respond to is building a question bank, to ask essential and even eccentric questions.

And there are different ways, approaches, models, or frames in doing theology but most theologians seem to agree on considering human experience as a locus theologicus, meaning a source or space for the theological reflection. Using human experiences as our source or space for theological reflection means our starting point is not about abstract ideas but concrete STORIES, SITUATIONS, and STRUGGLES. Some of the essential questions to ask here are, “Whose human experiences are considered, included, or prioritized in the theological discourse? Whose theological reflections are privileged, listened to, and reproduced?”

To be a woman and at the same time, a feminist in Theology and in the Church is a BIG DISRUPTION, because these areas are dominated by men. Patriarchy, a social structure that promotes male-privileging, is palpable in these human institutions. We did frames-mapping exercises in our rebooting sessions and it revealed how complex and challenging my social location as a feminist theologian is in a patriarchal Catholic framework.

I’ve seen and discovered oppressive frames emerging like clericalism, including sexual abuses and withholding women from taking part in the decision-making processes of the Church, sexism by unjust biblical and doctrinal representations and teachings of and about women, mansplaining about what constitutes our dignity and vocation, androcentrism like generalizing human persons under the label of “man/men,” and anthropocentrism as human-privileging over non-human creations which contributes to environmental degradation.

These narratives could be what Johann Baptist Metz calls dangerous memories that could potentially DISRUPT the status quo and are subversive because of what they expose. And there are frames that are going against the dominant tides like feminist liberation theologies, intersectional theology, feminist biblical hermeneutics, ecofeminism, synodality, basic ecclesial communities, and interfaith dialogues.

I made an essay about a misunderstood female biblical character in the New Testament and it is published in our university’s portal. Her name is Martha. I bring up the character of Martha to examine gender stereotypes on women as leaders and bring to light energizing elements of her person that could exhort women to take on their important spaces in the public sphere. This is my first feminist-toned theological reflection and I am so nervous as to how it will be received. I could be bashed, judged, or criticized for it but I just keep telling myself that Martha’s voice needs to be heard by the public.

On a more intimate, personal dimension, I began and continue to question my image and experience of God. I have admitted to myself that I do not experience God as Father. I just don’t have an affinity for this God. I felt so uncomfortable calling God as Father. And so I asked myself, "What is my experiential truth of God?" For now, as a fruit of my contemplation, my experiential truth of God is the “Eternal Creative,” continually generating and expanding life in all forms and a God of Diversity ever present in all of creation- both humans and non-humans, not confined in just one religion or asking us to be part of one religion. The learning encounters on different meditation practices from various faith traditions and philosophies and the witnessing of my co-fellows in GMF are all palpable indicators of the Creative Spirit of God. I can feel God’s Spirit in each of them. GMF is a life-giving space in which diversity is celebrated.

Going against the tide is such a scary endeavor but I believe that the Spirit of God is with me on this journey!